Alcoholism is a family disease. reading your posts is obvious that you are emeshed in your son's life to a point that is not healthy for either of you. On line you can find listings for al-anon mtgs. in your area. Any mtg. would be okay, but see if there are mtgs. specifically for parents of alcoholics (that is what I attend on a reg. basis)
Learn about detachment,enabling and co-dependency. You would be wise to switch your focus to your own recovery. That is the best thing you could do for yourself and for your son.
I've worked the 12 steps of Al-anon for 4 yrs. and it has changed my life like nothing else ever has. In my Opinion: Until you do this and learn to set boundaries and detach with love, your son has no chance of getting sober. Each of us has only one life..you included. It is up to us to make the most of our own lives and find our own joy. My 23 yr. oldl son has never been given any money due to his addiction. Therefore even as an addict he maintains a job and is financially responsible for himself. If I had enabled him through the last yrs. I'm sure he'd be dependent instead of independent. Get into recovery and you will see your situation differently.
Hopefully it won't be 2 much 2 handle. Good luck to you. your son is frustrating to the rest of the family and so are you. They only want what is best for you.