I have just about half of your sobriety, 8 years, and when out with a lady who I have dated for the past while I too think that I "deserve" a glass of the Merlot that she is able to enjoy.
Truth is both of us do in fact "deserve" a drink, but CAN WE AFFORD THE PRICE? I have my degree in economics and I remember the maxim that THINGS COST WHAT WE GIVE UP TO GET THEM. If we are ready to give up the good home life, the love of family, the respect of our fellows and more importantly the "self respect" then we are ready to pay the price of the drink that we "deserve."
I have to remember that not only do I "deserve" a drink, but sadly I also will "deserve" the results that the drink will bring.
You deserve the freedom that children well raised and a life lived responsibly brings. Go out and enjoy that freedom. Take a walk and breathe in the world around you.
Best wishes,
Jon