(((Rozied)))
I am so sorry this keeps taking quick turns for you.
I can only speak for what I feel, and what I've expereinced myself. I'm certainly no expert.
I understand completely what your ex is saying. He knows from experience that I don't have.
But there is a chance that "his way" (a program and a sponsor) will never transpire. Thats not to say that your son can't find his way his own way, but not all of those who to stop using choose a program and/or sponsor.
What is saying no to accomplish? Making him do it a certain way? I understand not wanting to be manipulated, or hurt or disappointed. But cutting our children off unless they choose a program and a sponser...I can't say I could agree to that.
Cutting them off to protect myself...yes, but to me this is different. You mentioned giving him a ride so that YOU could see him, you missed him. No expectations.
I don't mean to be a wet rag on the subject...sorry.
(((hugs))))
Cece