Rozied,
I do alot of things with and for my son now that he is out on his own. They are things that he would be doing anyway. We will have a cup of coffee or see a movie, or just take a drive. These are things that I do with my other adult children.
I am careful to not let him take advantage of me in any way, and he hasn't. If he does cross a line- I know what to do.
In our family we are moving towards having healthy relationships with each other- part of that involves 'give' and 'take' in a non-codependent way.
Several weeks ago I drove my son to a training program for his job. If I hadn't he would have misssed it because the bus doesn't come early enough for him to get there. When he asked for the ride, he offered to take the bus and train home.
We had about two hours between our breakfast and his meeting and enjoyed taking a walk at a nature reserve. I joked with him that I was 'slipping' in my program and needed some 'mommy' time with him. He recognizes the pain I have been through because of his addiction and respected my desire to have time together-just for fun. That day was one I am so grateful for.
With him clean and moving forward with life- I will support him whenever I can.