I think that's exactly what I need. To get angry. Hi, I am new to this site and at this point I am at wits end. I too at one point was an abuser and now have cold turkey remained clean. My unfortunate problem is my boyfriend has not. It was not until recently when we moved in together that I realized how serious the problem was. I guess part of that was finally looking at the situation from the outside…with sober eyes. Now though I don’t know what to do to help. I have told him time and time again how much it hurts me and at first when he’s high he gets angry and evil and the same argument entails and he turns the whole thing around on me and told me every way I am not perfect and I'm a hypocrite and I have no right to judge him and I do alot of things that irritate him too but he doesn't point them out and he's not going to change and I'm the one who has a problem and I'm the one that needs to do something about it and maybe he's just not the person I thought he was and that I knew what I was getting myself into when I got into this with him and maybe I should just go home and on and on and on.
I don’t know what else to do, he has had many troubles in his life and unfortunately one of them will not and cannot go away (his father). I feel so lost, constantly. Like this past weekend, I actually in my heart had convinced myself that it was time to leave. I called home and gave them the heads up that I might be back in Jersey in the near future. I honestly don't know how much more I can handle. It's like I'm choosing his sanity or mine. and the problem is that it's only when that's around. The next day after that blowout I got up and went to the gym and by the time I got home and we went to the
concert that I had goetten him tickets for and everything was awesome. He was lovey and affectionate and happy and he's happy as a pig in $h!t and I'm aching on the inside.
I don’t know what else to do.