cmc, I guess for me it is loving myself. I spent a lot of years not really liking myself enough to set boundaries between myself and people who want to use me. I was always the willing victim
I still worry about my daughter. It is not possible to not worry. But I accept that that is part of having an addict for a child and I have since stopped beating myself up for it. What I am going through now is the grief process and I realize it will take me a long time to go through it. I heard a saying tonight that I liked a lot. The person said about a loved one "You can't learn to walk if I am always carrying you." That sums up my feelings for my daughter. But it took me a long time to come to that point with her. And I had to honestly examine my own part in addiction. Not that I caused it, but that I played a role in how things have come to this point of alienation with her. My control issues and how I thought her life should be. I will never give up hope that someday my daughter will want recovery. But until that day, I need to take care of me so that I will be there to see that day. God put me here to be happy and darn it I am trying my best
Hugs, Marle