drained,
I am so glad you came back and posted. I have been thinking of you often and as I mentioned before, I will always offer you support in what ever decision you make. Please don't feel embarassed for any decision you make, like all of us, you love a person with an addiction.
I don't think you are crazy or that something is wrong with you, your world has been turned upside down by something that can't be understood or fully comprehended by those of us who are not addicts.
I think it took alot of strength for you to come back and want to continue to work through this. I hope you continue to post, to learn and grow and know you do have support here from so many.
Thank you for letting us know how you are and what's been going on.