Dear Sunshine85: My son is 36, an alcoholic. We have been dealing with his problem for the last 8 years. It started with the nightclub/party/college scene and has escallated to full blown. He has lost everything - his apartment, car, job, income and as we speak is in a rehab/half-way house - sober for 10 days. Just went to court this morning and had a judgment levied against him for past due rent at his apartment complex. We are thankful for small favors - 10 days without alcohol, he's on a work program, has a roof over his head and 3 squares a day. The name of the facility is Good Samaritan. They are a Christian based, non-profit organization that takes in those who have basically hit bottom. I will say this because I know - there is nothing you can do for your son until he wants to do something for himself. For some alcoholics, like my son, it takes great loss. My son is a college grad and was making $65,000+, beautiful apartment, etc. He is now homeless. My husband and I will not take him in. That probably sounds callous, but I will say this because I know - he will take you for every dime, dollar, sense of sanity, time and send you and your whole family into a down spiral IF YOU LET HIM. The tough love has got to come from someone. Establish rules and if those rules get broken - get tough. You may have to change the locks on your house, you may have to lock all the doors and make him sleep outside if he comes home drunk. The bottom line is he either needs to abide by your rules or get out. Tough love isn't giving up one someone, it's erecting boundaries for his well being and for yours. Maybe you can't controll him, but you can control what you will and will not allow. Start there.