oneeye...
no, you don't have to justify your decision. If someone were willing to step in and ease my load in terms of the debt I still carry from my exah's addiction, I'd probably accept it too...
I have a child with my exah. I didn't just carry a huge load of debt when I left the relationship, I also have a child to support on my own. When things were at their worst, when I could barely scrape enough money together for gas or food, I used to fantasize that my exah's father would step in and help. He never did. He couldn't afford to do it...and I don't think he would have done it even if he could. I had to work thru alot of issues where my exah's father was concerned. My exah's father didn't offer financial support...and he also never offered any emotional support. He never called just to talk to his grandson (who is named after him, by the way)...never called just to see how we were doing. I used to resent this like crazy (especially the lack of emotional support). I do know, however, that all of this made me stronger. If my exah's father had stepped in and repaid me for my losses, the sting of my exah's addiction would have been erased. Honestly, every time I make a payment on debts that I incurred when trying to 'help' my exah, I am reminded of my mistakes. As painful as it is sometimes, I think the act of repaying this debt on my own...over time...makes me stronger in my commitment not to let anything like this happen to me again (at the hands of my exah or anyone else).
If your exbf's parents don't step in and pay the debt, it might actually be a blessing in disguise. JMHO.