((Elana))
I know that feeling. Please do get to that doctor. The weight loss is a huge red flag. Please don't isolate too much. I became a hermit for years. It reached a point that I couldn't leave the house. I didn't trust anyone, I didn't want to talk to anyone and if you rang my front door bell, I would ignore it. I was in a really bad place.
Oh and by the way, I know you don't want to hear this but since you have now made the statement of not wanting anyone or dating, well........ I hate to be the one to tell you this, but NOW it's going to be all around you knocking on your door. You are going to say no so many times until you can't. ( -: It just seems to be the way the world works all the things we don't want gets thrown at us.
Hugs and Prayers
B