Thanks all for your replies.
The main problem is that I don't have a doctor/therapist to work with and my general practitioner is not helpful at all. The Dutch mental health system is horrible, right now I can only go to some kind of general panic/anxiety talk group. That's why I am leaving for Poland to get some professional help.
I am very cautious about using anti-depressants because of the horrible experience with Paxil and the dangers described in the articles above. Introvert I totally recognize the feeling you had with Paxil. It was like becoming a different person.
Antidepressants work by elevating serotonin levels in the brain. But anxiety/panic attacks are caused by increased stresshormones levels (cortisol and adrenalin). In my opinion antidepressants make you feel so good that you don't care about the anxiety anymore. That doesn't stop the stresshormones from doing the damage.
This is something I have to figure out. I believe there must better ways to fight anxiety than pump yourself full with feel-good drugs.