Thanks Earth, i guess i chalk it up to loneliness and it hurts to hear that he doesn't even seem to be effected by this at all according to co-workers. But like my counselor said, who knows, he's probably not showing or saying much of anything to get back to me. I know it shouldn't matter anymore and he did do me a favor in the long run but why doesn't this stuff bite them in the ass???? In hindsight maybe it has, he will be in debt for a very long time, no white picket fence, barely getting by in life as a previous post mentioned. I definately want nice or decent things, a house, kids, just keep thinking it will take me sooo long to meet someone new. It just felt so right when J and i met and things were great. Better to find out now right???