Codependence is my issue and alcohol was a simtom. It was one of the meny self destructive things I learned from my mom. When I was little I had to put her to bed when she had too much to drink and by the time I hit high school she was also popping Valume and on the days she went crazy she would come home and run around in the house crying and screaming about how she wanted to die. One time I had a friend who stayed with us. (a trusted friend) I was out and when I got home she was all freaked out about my mom loosing it. Here is this friend who would get all upset because he mom had a few beers after work and then like other moms cooked dinner and cleaned the house. I remember thinking, you haven't got a clue.
By then I had gone through so much that I didn't care that my mother was out of controle and might hurt her self. I was too bussy trying to be numb all day and then crying all night and being that same out of controle person my mom was.
I thank God I'm not that person today.
D