Cecilia, you're right, we have other issues along with the alcoholism. LOTS of other issues. Blech! And I don't think all his jerkiness will go away if he's in recovery. (In fact I know it won't) And, yes, I DO want him to tell me he's sorry and he's been a jerk and what was he thinking, etc. etc. etc...is that so wrong? I KNOW he has a disease and he's sick and it's beyond his control, but I am still a human being who has the right to be respected, aren't I? I mean, in the midst of his sickness can't he even see a glimpse of that? OK I'm getting worked up here.........one of my major character defects...........many of you here seem so together and almost saintly. Sometimes I feel like a huge jerk having these selfish thoughts. But thanks to everyone for your replies. I am having a hard time sorting everything out and your opinions (and hugs!!)help so much!