hi dw,
I don't have much to add to all the other responses. All I have is my own experience, and I do know what you are feeling and how much it hurts. I have been seperated now for almost five months, but I too have done this whole thing several times before and always ended up going back in hopes that my prince charming had finally returned. He never did, not in 25 years.
Maybe your ah will be different, but I really doubt it from what you have posted. I also would urge you to go back and read through all your posts from the very beginning.
The bitter reality of what a lie my whole marriage has been is truly just now beginning to really hit me; I am going to my first counseling session in a few hours to try to really come to grips with the whole thing. The damage that has been done to my adult children is also only now becoming clear, and the hardest part to stomach is just how much of that damage is mine to claim and not all my ex's.
I wish you the best, and I really hope your fairytale will have a better ending than mine did.