((veggiemom)) I've been there, standing there in his room at the treatment center telling him my boundaries and expectations, watching him get angry and walk away.....journeygal is RIGHT ON THE MONEY here....and when my H and I finally DID get to the talking things out part--which we're still very much working s--l--o--w--l--y at in weekly counselling with our pastor, he told me that very same thing: those first few weeks ALL I thought about was how was I going to get thru the day w/o a) either going crazy, or b) drinking again?
We don't understand it b/c we aren't living in their hell. I tried to relate it once to me and my smoking habit and when I am in a meeting at work and am having a nic fit, ALL I can think about is I can't wait for the meeting to be over so I can go out side and have a smoke--but that's a small comparison to someone who is trying with all his might to overcome this powerful demon that has overtaken his entire life and being.
Try to think of it this way: if you can give him some time now to focus on himself and get his recovery started and go at his pace and let him make this the most important thing in his life, would it be worth it if in 6 months, or a year from now, he IS able to not only stay sober, but also do all those other things you want from him too?
My H is working on his 6 month now--he still doesn't have a job, but he's done a LOT in many other ways and now we are getting to the stage where he is ready to begin working again too.
It all takes time and patience and lots of strength. Don't rush into any decisions just yet....
((hugs))