Welcome Mike. I found hopelessness a great place to start. It was when I was hopelessness that I could truly start a new fresh start. Honesty, willingness, and an open mind became readily available and I became teachable. I had to get my butt back into AA and reclaim the chair I had given up so long ago. I believe it has saved my life. One thing is for certain. I was beaten by wet drunkeness, and then slam dunked by dry drunkeness. I desperately needed a program of recovery if I was going to stay stopped and not be miserable. My way wasn't working, even when I wasn't drinking. There is a way out. Hope this helps.