Hi Veggiemom,
I feel like at this point, if he's going to be successful with the treatment, if he wants to do the work that needs to be done to keep our marriage together, he has to talk to me!!! I want to know how he's feeling and what his thoughts are and what he thinks the future will bring and what he plans to do next.
Your husband has been in rehab for two weeks. You know what's on his mind? Drinking. You know what else is on his mind? Not drinking. And when he's not thinking of drinking or not drinking, he's damn sure not thinking about the mess he's made of his life, not after two weeks of being sober.
The thing is, to be successful in his treatment means he has to learn how to live life without drinking. To keep your marriage together is a whole other ball of wax that he just can't be concerned with right now. He's basically trying to live life one day at a time sober. He hasn't done that in a long time. It's going to take him a while to figure out how to make it through the day and feel like a normal person. He won't be ready to face the realities of being in a relationship and dealing with the rest of his life for quite some time.
I know this is not what you want to hear, but it will only frustrate you to keep expecting your husband work out all the problems in your marriage right now. He can't and it will probably be a few months before he is able to begin addressing it. That's why they suggest newly recovered A's wait a year before getting involved in a new relationship, which is why it's so hard when they're already in one.
Hang in there and give him some time to get used to being sober.
Hugs,
JG