Heather.
I haven't met you, but I've been following your posts. Heather you are an extremely intelligent young lady. Sometimes analyzing and thinking about things is something we need to do, but then other times, as one therapist put it to me, sometimes we just need to be, to just exist, to push everything out of our minds and live in the moment. It's easier said than done, but it can be done. Heather, there probably isn't a person in this world who doesn't have one issue or another. One thing we codies seem to do a lot is to be very very hard on ourselves at times. One thing I did when I realized I needed to change something, and it took practice, was to tell myself everyday something I liked about myself, to start removing the negative scripts I had told myself myself day after day.
Everyone of us deserves to be treated with respect, dignity, and love, but not everyone will give that to us, you're right. When I started removing the negative scripts, one by one, that I had been telling myself over the years, I began to think differently, and then eventually feel differently. It's ok if we fall. If we fall, we get back up and keep trying. The important thing is that we are constantly learning, about ourselves and others, but sometimes we just need to give our brains a break and stop thinking so hard about it, and just treat ourselves to something we like, and just let our feelings for that something good take over, even if it's just for a few minutes.