DW,
I know it's hard and that you are trying, what I'm sharing with you is what _I_ have been through. Like many others here- we have tried many or all of the same things you are doing right now. Thousands of tears, sleepless nights, betrayals, loss of financial security and thousands of dollars spent on therapy- treatment and every other effort imaginable- have put most of us in the same place- with an addict who continues to act out and harm others.
Those of us here- many that have shared that I know very well- including myself DO have your best interest in mind...more than that alot of us are moms and/or children of addicts and have been through this--- for many years.
What I'm concerned about is your kids...I know you are a good mom- but I can say that living with addiction causes so much chaos that I have often found myself in the middle of bad situations that could have been prevented had I listened to others who had more experience. Many times I just could not see what my actions and lack of action at times was costing me. I could not see that I was preventing my son from being forced to stop using.
I have been forced to change my thinking and actions in order for me to stay safe and protect my home and family. It can get very bad...and it can happen fast. Some people wake up and find their life savings has disappeared or that their child has been beaten...
Abuse like you have experienced can happen again...statistics show that it's progressive. I'm hoping that you won't do things to make the restraining order null...and in doing that expose yourself and kids to harm - when or if he loses control again.
Maybe you might be interested to hear from some other addicts...at an open NA or AA meeting---and see for yourself what makes someone want to recover. I've been to hundreds of such meetings- and had my eyes opened. They all have the same story, just like we family members do. It usually takes something devastating to even the the attention of an active addict...the plain truth is that often even that is not enough.
I want the best for you, and your kids- the others who share take of their time to read all your posts and invest themselves in you...because "it takes one to know one" when it comes to this disease (my disease)
Should you choose to leave this forum, I hope you will take away the experiences shared with you- experiences that were costly. The sharing here comes from caring and hoping that someone else can be spared a great deal of suffering. I care about you.