This is just really sad.
You tooks some good steps a few weeks back. It seems now that you have resolutely dug your heels in again and are back to your old ways.
If you want your kids to have a good dad, go out and find them one. Because your AH isn't a good dad, nor is he likely to become one.
Sorry to say, no you DO NOT have to depend on him while he has a job. You are just putting it off because you are being selfish/scared/emotionally not ready. I did the same exact thing with my AH and in the span of THREE DAYS he was out of my house, in rehab and jobless. And where was I??? NO job, a few bucks saved, alone. I found a job within two weeks and trudged on.
I feel bad for your kids like I feel bad for my own because I so often put his father's needs or MY needs in front of his. I told myself he was too young to know. I told myself I was doing it so he could continue to have a relationship with his dad in the future.
You know, that was a bunch of crap. I stayed because I was too lazy and too selfish to make it work alone. I kept manipulating because I wanted the power and I felt that was the only way I could get it. Hell, I felt like I DESERVED the power after "everything I'd been through". That makes me AND you, a bad mom. I loved myself and my AH more than I loved my kid. The truth hurts, it hurts bad, but I am just now in the past two months actually putting my child FIRST, for the first time in 3.5 years.
When you wake up and decide to stop being selfish, yes, selfish, then your kids will have a better life. Until then, you will have to accept that you are putting them last in your choices. I sound very harsh, I realize that, but I did the VERY SAME THING and so I understand it. Take what you like and leave the rest, you won't hit bottom til you are ready.