You're right CE. This is what it's all about. People sharing experiences that worked or didn't work. Others taking what they need and leaving the rest.
It's not about doing it "right." It's about asking yourself the hard questions and discovering who you really are and how you want your life to be.
In my case, I held on to the hope that he would get sober, too. And, guess what? He did. And after a while, I realized that even sober, he was not the person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. That may be a really scarey thought for some of you. I know it would have been for me a couple years ago, but I feel like I just became aware of me at the ripe old age of 44. I could have gone on till I died being uable to create my own life, looking outside myself for validation and comfort in the form of a partner. Instead, I am on a path to finding what is in my soul. I could never have found this path as long as I was "attached" to my husband. And that's what it was. I had confused attachment for love. In fact, I have more actual love for him now that we are apart than I did all those years I was "attached" to him. It's hard to explain, but once I began to grow, I couldn't stop. I couldn't be the person I was, the person he wanted me to be..............
L