Aibreanowl,
If it makes any sense at all, know that you are in this position of feeling angry and resentful, because you chose to be there; I mean not in a direct way... But when you think about it, you KNOW what he will most likely spend the money on... you know that he cannot be trusted... but you keep expecting him to be different. Of course you feel dissapointed, let down and angry. We always complain about how irresponsible and "sick" our A's are, and in the next breath, we are expecting them to act "normal". It doesn't work.
So, if I can lend a measure of adivce... Sit down with your husband (or without), and work out what, where and how the money is to be spent. Make your finances safe from being blown on Alcohol and cigs by putting a certain amount in your name... It is not about taking away his money, or determining whos money is whos... but about protecting yourself and your finances. If he has a determined amount of money to spend each month (after bills are paid) and he blows it all... You simply cannot be giving in and giving him more - he needs to know the consequences. Laying guilt on him, and having expectations is simply a recipe for disaster for BOTH of you.
Take care
Meg