Hi DW... I responded on your other thread.
I remember wanting SO badly to sit my meth-addicted daughter down and just talk to her. Gently, with kindness... so perhaps she could HEAR me.
I even had the opportunity - a few times. But each time, the devil was control... her addiction made her wild and angry and raging and hysterical. I could not be kind and gentle. I could only be sad and in pain.
One night, I was taking her to a friend's house and it suddenly dawned on me that she was in relapse and this was not a "friends house"... I was taking her to a DRUG house. I tried, SO HARD, to get her to stay in the car. To come home with me. To stay sober. I was desperate and talking as fast and as clearly as I could. And she got so hard and mean ... it was like I was talking to a complete stranger.
I cried (hard) the entire ten miles home. And prayed. And felt very much the way I did the day I drove around planning my exit from the planet.
But you know what? My Higher Power walked me through that time. I was not happy. I was not feeling good. But the despair was not AS great as before. And a part of me knew, absolutely, I would come out the other side.
And I did.
In fact. That was the last night she used. She has been clean for over 2 years now.
But it was nothing I said. And nothing I did.
(((hugs)))