It was difficult for me to learn that just like I couldn't cure my addict, I couldn't control her recovery either. "My way" would have included more meetings, more step work, more program focus...It helped me to realize if someone tried to control me and my recovery that way, I would be really annoyed.
I can understand your frustration, but I think perhaps it might be best to detach from the recovery too...Knowing what is going on step by step may just result in more anger and resentment. We all get there in our own way and in our own time. I hope that he does get there...Hugs