He sounds exactly like me when I was active in my disease, the traits and patterns arent unusual. And what you've shared mirrors pretty closely what my ex probably went through.
dolly said it perfectly. Nothing changes if nothing changes, or "doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result". You can protect yourself and your kids, but you can't control or change your AH. If you're not going to Al-Anon meetings you might consider them in an effort to gain some peace in your life, and to know that there are others out there who deal with similar issues.