Have you ever picked up a copy of Martha Beck's book "The Four-Day Win" ?
It was probably the single most helpful thing I ever read that explained why I eat, and how to take tiny little miniature baby steps to getting better. I mean, seriously small steps (that's what the four-day thing is) that eventually added up and added up -- ALMOST EFFORTLESSLY -- and helped me build my self-esteem back up.
I'm no skinny minnie, mind you, but I realize that's never what I wanted anyway. Like you mentioned, it's always been about comparing myself to somebody (everybody) else. Taking control of that, a little at a time, changed my life.
Wishing you peace
GiveLove