First of all there are a lot of different programs out their for recovery from alcoholism, some of them are really great, the one thing they all have in common though 12 step or not is the following:
None of them will work if you do not work them.
The one thing that none of us should be doing is trashing other programs just because we are not willing to work them. This is counter productive and may stop some one from exploring the only program that may have saved thier life.
We are here to help each other recover, we are not here to trash programs that may help many others recover, especially when one is speaking about some thing is very apperant they either have no real experience at or they have a prejudice against.
Please take note that I am not going to say one bad thing about any other program!
I mean no disrespect but AA doesn't work for everyone so isn't open mindedness and development of awareness of other treatment options necessary?
needtobefree, thanks for not showing disrespect for a program that has brought sobriety to millions over the years, if one studies the early years of AA they will find that there were women alcoholics as well as men who came to long term sobriety due to AA.
Another thing to point out is AA knows that women have different things to deal with then men, there are common denominators also. One of the unwritten rules of AA is that men do not sponsor women and women do not sponsor men. In my area there is only one mens only meeting and quite a few ladies only meetings because of the differences alcoholism presents with women.
In my area over all I would say our AA membership is about 35-40 percent women, I know of one lady with 31 years, another 33 years, and a lot of them with over 20 years of sobriety. Let the nay sayers come talk to these ladies about how AA does not work for women!!! LOL
Different horses for different courses I guess :0) There's a range of treatment options available here, I'm going to check into them today, including AA, so this could get interesting.
Best thing in the world to do, recovery is far from easy, look at them all with an open mind, try one that appeals to you and work it, if it does not work do not give up, move on to another program. Please do not do as some folks do and trash or mislead folks about a program that they were not willing to work.
The author is pointing out how society views female and male alcoholics in different ways and how the women are way more vulnerable to rape and violence and social judgement than the average male is.
Sadly that is very true, society as a whole does view a female alcoholic very differently, that is from what I have seen in the rooms of AA one of the things the women in AA love about AA, they are looked upon the same as the men when it comes to being an alcoholic, it is a common thread that ties us all together. The main reason why men do not sponsor women is because women do tend to be more vulnerable then the men initially, that and sadly men are men recovering alcoholic or not, some will take advantage which is the very reason it is discouraged STRONGLY!
Many alcoholic women have histories of childhood trauma that AA is not meant to address.
Men as well, physical, verbal, and sexual........ AA beleives that many problems like these need to be dealt with via professional counceling and therapy, AA's main focus is helping alcoholics learn to live life on lifes terms, part of this learning process is learning issues that should be addressed via therapy and medical help and not addressed by AA.
The issue of self esteem and the AA approach of confronting the false pride of the alcoholic would be so self-destructive for me. I've built my self esteem up after 5 years or so in therapy/counselling and through contact with psychiatric professionals who've diagnosed, medicated and helped me hugely to start to build my life and self esteem from scratch.
I simply cannot afford to put a dent in that. I've been thinking this for some time and reading this book today has really said what I've been concerned about (well some of it so far, but the first one being the beginning I thought I'd start there.
Any thoughts anyone?
I never had my self esteem torn down in AA, I do not know a single person who has, alcohol tore down my self esteem, AA helped me rebuild it. My ego was grossly over inflated when I was drinking and it was not until my ego was crushed by alcohol that I was able to begin recovery, AA did not deflate my ego, it taught me how alcohol had torn it down and how I could rebuild my ego without being egotistical.
AA is about helping an alcoholic learn how to live life on lifes terms, this is one of the reasons why it is a program of suggestions and not one of rules. Everyone is different, which is why there is a great deal of leeway in working ones program, what worked for me in AA may very well not work for many others in AA.
needtobefree for this alcoholic the one main thing I have found in AA that has helped keep me sober is the face to face support I recieve in the rooms of AA. For me there is no replacement for a handshake, a hug, a smile, a look of understanding, the ability to be able to pick up a phone at any hour of the day and call someone who is willing if need to be meet me some where to talk or simply just talk to me on the phone. I know that I can travel alomost any where in the US and many parts of the world and find rooms full of AA folks who I feel just as comfortable with as I do with the folks in my area.
If I was stuck in an airport and really felt I was going to drink all I would have to do is have a page put on the PA system asking for a "Friend of Bills" to meet me some where in the airport and know that some one would be there.