I think I alway knew I would leave when my kids were old enough. Our world started falling about over the past year and a half or so, I began detaching myself. My baby was getting ready to graduate and I wasn't sticking around to continue raising "my son" that would never grow up. I lost myself in this relationship and needed very much to find myself again. He was emotionally unavailable to me for so many years. Everyone else thought I was okay, funny, pretty good person, everybody but him. I started believing all of them instead and decided I had had enough. Of course, when he found out I wanted out, all of a sudden he was ready to clean up. Too little too late. I had fallen out of love too long ago. My mind & heart were already gone. He has stayed clean so far for the past four months, so thank goodness he hadn't fallen off the wagon, and I can't predict the future, so I don't know what's in store for us as a couple. But so much has been said & done, he has turned into someone I don't even know. I don't think he quite knows who he is yet. It's been a very strange ride.