Thank you for posting that link, Duet.
"The Pain Stops: when your longing for them gets slowly replaced by a desire to get away,"
No amount of detaching in ABF's presence could remove this niggling awareness that I felt physically ill-at-ease around him both when he had been drinking and when that short-temperedness pre-first drink of the day was setting in. There was a booze-free "window" each day which I always wanted to hold close. Of course, I now understand from reading these forums that many of his physiological problems (upset stomach, vomiting) early in the morning were linked to the drinking of the night before.
ABF never became physically abusive but.....drunks get a look in their eye which is glazed and scarey. I didn't know what he might be thinking. In any event, I found the "look" emotionally abusive.
ARL