I made the decision to end my marriage when it finally became obvious to me that my exah had become a man who I could never believe or trust again, and that I had gradually lost all sense of who I was because I was so focused on him.
I really can't explain it except to say that I hit my bottom and knew it was either get away from him or die (not necessarily die physically, but in every other way...).
This post basically describes what I felt then:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ain-stops.html
It hasn't been easy but it has been the best thing I ever did for myself and my kids.