DW... you have gotten excellent advice from those who have already walked down this path.
What jumps out at me...
and i was just afraid of what the kids would think when they kow their dad is in jail...i gues i was thinking of myself in that if he goes to jail and looses his job, there goes my support. i cant support my kids myself.
Please do not forget that addiction is not only chronic... it is progressive. If he is headed for jail... he is headed for jail, and all the denial in the world will not change that.
Why can't you support your kids? There are plenty on this board with less education than you who have done just exactly that. I did have thoughts like that when I got divorced from Mr. Big (we divorced for 3 years when my kids were little). But I did get to a point that what was important to me was the FREEDOM ... the ability to walk in the world without concerns about violence and retribution and fear. I came to understand that THAT freedom had a price. I also decided that I could live almost anywhere... as long as the chaos was gone.
Your AH is a drug addict. He may not be able to perform much longer as an attorney. What you are fighting for now is material possession of things to help your children.... before he loses those things to his addiction, as well. I think the idea of preserving his professional standing has long passed by. And not by YOUR doing. It is his. He is the addict. He is making choices about using drugs and becoming violent.
You are just trying to get out with as much intact as possible... but I think income from him would be negligible at any rate... even if he was a pipefitter. At some point, the addiction just becomes bigger than that.
I have seen men quit jobs (good ones!) in order to retaliate against a divorcing woman with children. I cannot imagine what sort of rage that takes, to hurt the kids in order to "get back" at the woman. You may well have more interest in his professional standing at this point, than he does.
(((hugs))) There is good advice above me.