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Old 06-26-2007, 01:19 PM
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there's more....

he sent an email to my lawyer and to me--

it basically says that i use his 77byr. old mother fo rthe sole purpose of emotionally hurting him because i told her that he is a heavy drug user. also that i contacted his family causes them dress and taht this is a crime. also, that it is slanderous for me to be telling people he is violent and is a drug user. he also put in there that we went to a marraige counselor months ago (we only sent twice) and that he will testify that the drug and violence are fabricated...and that they are an effort to extort and blackmail. what he doesnt knwo is that i called the counselr after we had gone to him to tell him the reason why o dont want to go back to him is because my ah is being dishonest in the sessions.the main issue here is his drug use and the dr. told me that if that is the case, then we should go somewhere else for his drug problem. he goes to talk about the kids and that i told the kids they cant see their father becaue os what the judge said. he says that is a lie it is because of me...and he told our kids that. thn he goes on to add he was never a heavy user of anything and has stopped a long, long time ago. and end with you should ask your client about how she smokes pot in our house 2 yrs. ago.
he then adds that it is unethical and illegal to suggest he will lose his liscence if i testify about his drug use. it is an obvious pressure he says for him to sign the agreement. and he adds that i am well aware if he goes to jail, i will also for similar infractions. also, the kids willbe without parents and monetary funds.

He is sooo insane, but also scary..
what am i going to do...i just want to run as far as i can away from this man.
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Old 06-26-2007, 01:23 PM
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I suggest you do get as far away from him as you can.
Let your lawyer handle it.
Please think again about going somewhere safe to stay at least until court Monday.
Don't wait to see how far he will go.
We want you and your children safe and alive.
You should be scared.
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Old 06-26-2007, 01:32 PM
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he then adds that it is unethical and illegal to suggest he will lose his liscence if i testify about his drug use.
That part is what I said before, we have similar bar grievences all the time. Be prepared an addict can be fueled to stay clean by teh excitement and drama of whatever, for him his new addiction is hurtinga destroying you and I bet he's been completely clean through this cycle so theres no proof.
Scary too, I bet he's convinced your daughter that the violence she saw and got invovled with was nothing. This creates 2 problems, one no witness but worse she has conflicting emotions that it was okay (where do most abused adults get those feelings from? what they see as kids, just like his father told you there was nothing wrong with grabbing someones neck)

I am really concerned at this point what your lawyer is telling you and I hope his conduct hasnt been in anyway unprofessional. By any chance did the kids give a statement the first night of violence? Did you save messages and emails he sent when angry and confused by it all?

Whatever you do you cannot react, you must for your own best interests stay calm.
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Old 06-26-2007, 01:35 PM
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I am also worried about what he's up to next and the possibility of him setting you up intentionally.

SO far the man has done everything I expected him too. Its his job, his whole life to manipulate and he knows exactly what he's doing and I bet very good at covering his tracks
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Old 06-26-2007, 01:43 PM
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Ditto. to Cinder .....

and others.
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Old 06-26-2007, 02:13 PM
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((Drained))

Hoping that your lawyer will handle all of this for you - That's their job.

I'm sure it is very difficult, but please try to take care of yourself.

Someone shared at my f2f meeting last night that when the A's are at their worse is when need to be at our Best. So please take good care of YOU.

Rita
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Old 06-26-2007, 02:22 PM
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Isn't sending you an e-mail violation of the RO and he should be arrested.?
Why hasn't your attorney done this?
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Old 06-26-2007, 02:53 PM
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I think he is trying to bluff you and/or make you hang yourself. Ignore him. He is wrong, knows it and knows what is going to happen. He did it to himself.
I feel sorry for the kids, they don't deserve this, they are innocent.
You and yours are in my prayers,
susan
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Old 06-26-2007, 03:13 PM
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DW,
I am surprised your lawyer hasn't gone to court with the emails and filed a complaint for him going against the RO.
I know Lawyers sometimes think they are above the law and it is for others not them. Let him see it is for him too. Please stay safe.
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Old 06-26-2007, 04:53 PM
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I think he is thinking that you will just cave in to what he wants. Stay strong, don't talk to him or email him. Let your lawyer handle it all. At this point I wouldn't even talk to his family about anything.

What has your lawyer said -

I bet your AH doesn't know what to do because he figured it would never come to this and is grasping at whatever he can think of.
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Old 06-26-2007, 05:11 PM
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I agree, no contact, print his emails, let him leave messages and keep the recordings.

He is trying to manipulate you, he knows how to play the game, don't fall for it.

And for his family, close that door for now, don't give him anymore ammunition.

This man is not wired right, please protect yourself.
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Old 06-26-2007, 05:57 PM
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Everytime he contacts you or the children you need to call the police and have them file a complaint. Even if they don't arrest him at that very minute, you need to build a case for yourself. Him calling, emailing, texting, etc. shows that he is not in control of him behavior, that he is manipulative, etc. Phone records, copies of emails, etc. don't show as well as police reports do in court!!!!! Start building real evidence!!!! Call the police have them write it up EVERY time!!!!!
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Old 06-26-2007, 07:56 PM
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I ditto everyone. He is really desperate now, therefore he is liable to do anything. Be very very careful and let your lawyer handle EVERYTHING.
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Old 06-26-2007, 09:29 PM
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dw,

What is your attorney telling you to do about all this? He/she should be guiding you in gathering evidence.

My attorney filed a contempt motion for every single phone call (she had me take pictures of my cell phone call log with a digital camera and print them out) and for every single time exah came to the house. She told me to save all the voice mails; I borrowed a tape recorder and recorded all of them for her. I had three police visits documented as well, even though he had already left by the time the officers got here.

I already had numerous pictures of him with powder in his nose and the actual dope I scraped up off the counters, the pen barrels, etc. Do you have anything like that?

He is really playing dirty; please keep yourselves safe no matter what you have to do. I'm praying for you!
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Old 06-26-2007, 10:00 PM
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Yes, evidence. The court requires evidence.
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Old 06-26-2007, 10:26 PM
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quack quack quack quack

At a local lake they have a sign on the edge of the water....

Do Not Feed The Ducks.

The reason why?

When you feed the ducks...it comes out the other end and pollutes the water.

Keep your water clean...
Don't feed the ducks and when they quack...walk away from them.
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Old 06-26-2007, 11:32 PM
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i have evidence emails, phone records, that i gave my lawyer. the reason i have not had him arrested is that he will loose his job since lawyers cannot have Ro's against them...and i was just afraid of what the kids would think when they kow their dad is in jail...i gues i was thinking of myself in that if he goes to jail and looses his job, there goes my support. i cant support my kids myself. im also gathering the evidence i have to give to my lawyer regarding his drug use... i have some emails handwritten notes from him, a positive at home drug test he took for cocaine last year. i will take pictures of the pen barrels, as there are still 2 in his office here in the house....i also did record his voicemail messages....and also he went to an addiction dr. last year who put him on soboxone which he is still on and he still sees this dr....and then i have a receipt from a lab where he went to take a drug test and i never saw the results from it...if the judge orders the hair follical test there is no way he can pass that---but i agree that through all this he may have stayed clean..because even though hes irrational right now, hes not stupid. if anyone has any other ideas of what i should do/not do let me know..
i do trust my lawyer, he is good...i just have a hard time hearing him on the cell phone..so sometimes i miss things he says.
another option i have is to file a motion to show just cause as to why he should be out of the house as we move forward with divorce...this would not have to be agreed upon by him but approved by the judge..there is not guarantee though that it will be granted...
i hoestly think he is frustrated and scared with his back aginst the wall and he is playing chicken with me.....i think he will most likely back down should he see that i am not backing down.....he is trying everything to intimidate me. i also dont beleiv ehe would do anything to really hurt me physically...he is too smart for that..all evidence would point to him. but if he where to somehow get back into the house and we were left alone or got into an arguement, than i would be afraid. i dont think he would come to the house with the intent to do bodily harm to me. i just wish there was a way to have him out of here, and go foreard with the divorce and let him fall on his own......
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Old 06-26-2007, 11:41 PM
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Frankly, I think Cinder has the best experience with this as she works in a legal office and is familiar with family law, attorneys and the courts systems.

I do know from my daughter that all of this evidence must be submitted to the courts in an exact manner or they will not be admissable. She is a court reporter.

Please ask her again about whether having him arrested results in the way you think it does. That is not what I get from her. And she sees things from the inside.

I,personally would have him arrested.....because you have more to lose than child support.
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Old 06-27-2007, 04:56 AM
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Drained, in all honesty I am scared he's gonna try to plant drugs or paraphanelia on you, if he hasnt already. Watch your back and go through everything.

I know we are talking different states but Ive seen many attorneys with ROs filed against them and many violated, but I never saw any do time in jail or lose a job.

He's not thinking of your or your childrens best interests, so to save yourself you have to stop thining of his
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Old 06-27-2007, 05:37 AM
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I don't know what the law is there, but here the law says that the divorcing couple cannot reside in the same domicile prior to the divorce.
Have you changed the locks on the house? Garage? What about your car? Have you had the alarm changed on it?
I totally agree with Cinder, he's playing every card he can.
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