Drainedwife,
In NJ if your doctor writes you out of work due to a disability you can get state disability payments. It is about 80% of your wages. If you have been with the company for 1 year you can take a FMLA leave for 12 weeks. If you do that you will at least have money coming in for you and your children and can have your job back with you are well enough to go back to work. I worked in the HR department for 2 years and had to go out on FMLA last year. Let me know if I can help any other way.
Hugs coming to you and your children