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Old 06-25-2007, 08:44 PM
  # 9 (permalink)  
prodigal
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Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Keepin' my side of the litterbox clean
Posts: 2,136
Okay, debpug, this is where I cut to the chase and dispense with polite trivialities. Get yourself down to the courthouse and get a restraining order. I know, I know - you're scared, you love him and don't want to hurt him back, he may end up in jail, he may retaliate, etc., etc. He's getting VIOLENT. I am a former battered spouse. Once it starts, they don't turn it off like a switch. He's not going to stop as long as you stand there being a human punching bag or watching him put his fist through walls or listening to him go into irrational rages. You're the captive audience he needs in order to act out his sickness.

Because the abuse has been recent, you have a good chance of having a judge order your husband out of the house, and there is the possibility the court will order he get into a recovery program. That is my take on it, based on my own experience from tolerating repeated beatings. I FINALLY went to court. The abuse stopped. I never went back. I never regretted it.

However, this is NOT my life - this is your's. You have to make a very difficult decision. I made mine at 11 pm on a Sunday night with nowhere to go. But I got my stuff together in less than 1/2 hour while he was trying to beat the crap outta me and I got a restraining order. I had to make my survival number one and to heck with my exAH.

Do they ever want help? Again, just my own experience, but NO - not as long as they don't want to get help. If we get out of their way and let them hit bottom, there's a good shot they'll clean up their act. I'm sorry for being so blunt here, but I tolerated violent behavior for a lot of years, and I saw how the bully in my life crumpled like a house of cards when two police cruisers pulled up in our driveway to escort him out of our house.
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