Welcome Judy,
If help for you is what you're looking for, you've come to the right place.
You are not alone. As sad as that may be, there's comfort in it as well, in that you can spend sometime reading around and replacing some of the thoughts in your head with positive options for you.
As far a your hubby, there's help out there for him too, if he's willing to take the first steps.
Stick around...we're glad to have you
I'll keep the both of you in my prayers
((((Hugs))))
Cece