Ann says it so well. We not only have to physically let go of our grown kids, but let go of the "person' we thought we were molding them to be. Let go of the need to teach them one more lesson. Our job is done. Now they must learn lessons from their friends, life, employers, the criminal justice system, etc. We spent yrs. with the identity of MOM and invested in putting our kids 1st. It can take a few yrs. to rebuild our lives and get comfortable in the next phase. Especially when our kids are addicts and that pain, alienation, frustration forces us to detach even more. Even the dream of having our adult child in our life has to be let go of in my case. But the sense of loss diminishes as we learn to redirect our energy.