It's 1 am, do you know where your mother is?
Well it's official. I am a fully certified empty nester. Vicky turned 18 yesterday.
Tonight I sit here and don't know where they are, what they are doing. If they got home safe. Giving over control of their lives to them, that's pretty scary for me.
Their father called me. Pretty much told me to tell all three of them goodbye and he hoped they have a good life. His obligations are over.
Jerry doesn't understand how I'm feeling either. He thinks I should be jumping for joy, I'm not married with children any more, I'm free to do what ever I want without putting my responsibilities first. I could care less about being free, I miss my kids. I miss one going out while another came in while the third one was having to be rolled out of bed to make sure he wasn't late for work. I miss the bussle and activity.
I miss the arguments and the laughter. I miss the teasing. I miss knowing where they are and what they are doing and with whom.
I know, I'm growing up too. I should call them at 2 AM and leave messages on their cell phones. It's 2 AM, do you know where your mother is? LOL
I realize tonight that I'm the biggest control freak on this planet. I have been for the last 23 years. It's time to let go and detach with all my love.
See, the 12 steps are a way of life. They have multiple applications.
B