failure
I guess I'm used to failing..its second nature..I managed to get past the 15:00 mark, then just after 18:00, I opened a bottle of wine and started drinking it..My sides were hurting, my stomach and I was freezing cold, then hot and bein sick just one drink and the pain was gone and I was feelin better, the pain and had gone. I was getting more and more anxious as the day went on, panicing about going to sleep tonight without having a drink, I had hullancations and the flashbacks seemed more intense. I don't have anyone face to face who can support me..
I tried an AA group last week had a panic attack at the door felt sick, couldn't breath, the whole place was closing in on me, everything was going dark and I started to be physically sick, went home and then had a drink, and went to the pub.
I'm a failure. I guess its time to disappear. sorry, let u down again.