When I pass by the local mini mart near my house and see my H standing out in the parking lot obviously high I feel a twinge of embarrassment and shame. When people ask me with knitted brows and a concerned look what is he doing...I feel it then too.
I have thought about calling the owner of that store and asking him if he knows that drug deals are going on in his parking lot...but I have to let it go and take care of myself and not force because I have really caused myself some intense suffering and shame by trying to force my solution on one of the As in my life.
When I feel ashamed I go through a little process of acknowledging it to myself asking myself why I feel shame because of someone else's behavior I call my sponcer too and she helps me further to not internalize the shame...