Hey Kanga. My first few years in recovery from alcohol and drugs, I was so angry at this affliction. Not only in what it had allowed me to do to myself, but what others had and were doing to themselves.
It took time to work through that anger with my sponsors (both my AA and Alanon). I did lots of writing, much of it making no sense, even to me later when I reread it, lol, but it helped.
I don't know why alcoholism and addiction hit some people and not others. I don't know why some of us are more 'attracted' or 'drawn to' the alkie and/or addict.
What I do know is that those of us who get into recovery, both the alkie-addicts and the 'anons', and work a program of recovery, not only do we get better, our lives get better, and.........................................we get the joy of being able to help another by sharing our ES&H. Who knows, maybe that is why we were put here on earth to begin with, so that in our own 'small way' we make this world just a teeny bit better to live in.
All of the above is just to let you know that you will get through the 'anger' and 'resentments', it is part of the growth and grieving we go through in recovery.
Keep posting, let us know how YOU are doing, we do care!!!!!
Love and hugs,