Careful what you wish for!!
Hi all,
After 3 goes at reconcilliation (he left to pursue drinking, his gambling and other women, but then always wanted back again - and I took him back) this time I have drawn the line.
For the past 2 months he's been calling and texting with all manner of messages - pleading (to be friends), sarcastic, nasty, back to pleading and nice.
I've done pretty well not answering.... ironic he's the one who dumped me over and over but I found myself the one trying to maintain the distance between us.
Anyhow, after a message at 3.30 am a week ago, I have now heard nothing. Which should make me happy and relieved right!
Well, it sorta does, but it also means (from past experience) that he has probably found someone else to focus obsessively on - also good. (The last women he managed to get into bed - who was married with two kids - he was texting between 30 and 50 times a DAY!)
BUT.....
it just reminds me that he really is only contacting me (when he does) because it's all about him. If he's lonely, miserable, bored, frustrated, tired..... I get message after message about how he needs me. Never a question about how I'm going even though he dumped me 3 times and life has been so sad and so hard.
So now that he's feeling better because (I'm guessing) he's got another woman, I'm completely off the radar even as a friend. He can't be bothered.
And that was the story of our marriage really. If he was being nice it was because he wanted something or had no-one to go out with. If he was at the pub or out drinking then I got ignored and told I should be 'happy' for him if he was out having fun - after all that's what marriage is about, being happy for your parnter if they're doing what they want to!!!!!
Anyhow, I guess I just feel irritated and annoyed at this reminder that I'm only good for him to use when he feels the need to have me around. Just makes me angry - ggrrrrrrrrrr.
No doubt he'll start contacting me again the next time he feels lonely, bored, miserable etc.
Oh well, on with building my new life and starting a whole range of new things for me to do.
And no, I haven't texted him to find out what's going on even though I feel like doing it just to have a go at him and tell him he's a user.
Sorry - just needed to vent!! Thanks for listening.