Oh Rose,
I am so sorry for what you are feeling. In your list of fears I think that maybe the one that is holding you back the most is just the fear of change. It is so hard to face the unknown. See if you can look at things in a different light. How about the joy of not being treated the way you have been. How about the peace of spending quality time by yourself or with your kids or friends. How about the fact that your kids wouldn't feel the need to leave the house and stay somewhere else because they can't stand the rages and the turmoil. For every negative that you see for leaving this relationship, see what the other side looks like. Maybe this will help you to make that decision. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Deep breaths. Think about "positive" change.
Hugs, Jo