Day 4 and nervous
Won't drink no matter what but just feel it helps to post.
Was feeling surprisingly okay mentally, even euphoric at times since quitting.
It's evening of day 4 now and feel a bit down. Wanted to get to that first meeting this evening but allowed myself to sleep too late to make it to the last one at 8:30. Had figured it was better to rest if it's needed rather than set an alarm.
So I turned on the tv and there was a documentary on about alcohol and it even showed a liver transplant taking place and other gory details. What really freaked me out though were the statistics about the damage that can be done from an early age even by normal "social" drinking or in people drinking less than half what I would drink daily. Don't know whether it was good for me to have seen all that or be reminded cos my mind was racing... went for a walk to the shops and nearly panicked at the check-out cos I thought I'd lost my wallet.
I know I have to visit my doctor( a big step) but I'm not really sure what to tell her or where to begin. And I need to get a liver check cos I'm really worried now. She called me a few years ago after she found out from an emergency helpline that I'd mildly od'd on painkillers telling me I'd need to come in for a liver check, but I didn't and avoided her ever since. I could do with getting some antidepressants to have on stand-by also. Tried getting them before from another doc a few months ago but wasn't taken seriously.
I'm pretty sure my liver must be damaged. Have weird sensations sometimes under the ribs and around that area, which I've had before but they'd get drowned out with more drinking.
Also have general feeling of malaise, headachey, hot and cold. Some sweats still, but less so. Skin crawling sensation and nervyness still there but not as bad as last night. Am drinking an endless amount of liquids(hardly anything new there!). And thought I'd have more energy by now, cos I did the last time I abstained for a few days. Suppose that was different maybe cos I was "motivated" by the knowledge that I hadn't had my last drink then. Whereas now I know(or hope) that I have.
Sorry if above rambles a bit, but it helps me to get stuff down or out in the open.