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Day 4 and nervous

Old 06-18-2007, 03:46 PM
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Day 4 and nervous

Won't drink no matter what but just feel it helps to post.
Was feeling surprisingly okay mentally, even euphoric at times since quitting.
It's evening of day 4 now and feel a bit down. Wanted to get to that first meeting this evening but allowed myself to sleep too late to make it to the last one at 8:30. Had figured it was better to rest if it's needed rather than set an alarm.

So I turned on the tv and there was a documentary on about alcohol and it even showed a liver transplant taking place and other gory details. What really freaked me out though were the statistics about the damage that can be done from an early age even by normal "social" drinking or in people drinking less than half what I would drink daily. Don't know whether it was good for me to have seen all that or be reminded cos my mind was racing... went for a walk to the shops and nearly panicked at the check-out cos I thought I'd lost my wallet.

I know I have to visit my doctor( a big step) but I'm not really sure what to tell her or where to begin. And I need to get a liver check cos I'm really worried now. She called me a few years ago after she found out from an emergency helpline that I'd mildly od'd on painkillers telling me I'd need to come in for a liver check, but I didn't and avoided her ever since. I could do with getting some antidepressants to have on stand-by also. Tried getting them before from another doc a few months ago but wasn't taken seriously.

I'm pretty sure my liver must be damaged. Have weird sensations sometimes under the ribs and around that area, which I've had before but they'd get drowned out with more drinking.
Also have general feeling of malaise, headachey, hot and cold. Some sweats still, but less so. Skin crawling sensation and nervyness still there but not as bad as last night. Am drinking an endless amount of liquids(hardly anything new there!). And thought I'd have more energy by now, cos I did the last time I abstained for a few days. Suppose that was different maybe cos I was "motivated" by the knowledge that I hadn't had my last drink then. Whereas now I know(or hope) that I have.

Sorry if above rambles a bit, but it helps me to get stuff down or out in the open.
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Old 06-18-2007, 04:03 PM
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Sounds like withdraw. It's not fun, I can attest to that.

After you feel better (anywhere from 3-10 days), look into a recovery program.

THEN worry about your liver. (this isn't medical advice, BTW) Abstinence is mandatory if you don't want to do any more damage.

hang in there, it gets better. Even if your liver is buggered up, I've heard more than a few stories of people getting better with time.
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Old 06-18-2007, 05:56 PM
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Hugs....that pain on the right side ?
I remember mine quit at 2 weeks sober.
And yes...
I passed the liver enzyme blood test.

I find seeing those intervention/medical
programs upsetting. So I don't watch...

You will soon notice an improvement in
energy....be gentle to yourself and patient.

I also took a multi vitamin + a B complex
in early recovery. And followed a eating
plan for hypoglycemia.

Forward we go...
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Old 06-18-2007, 07:23 PM
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Tell your doctor the whole truth when you meet with her. Honesty is usually the best place to start.

She sounds like someone who cares about you.
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Old 06-18-2007, 10:36 PM
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As Peter said,

You HAVE to tell the dr everything so she can give you the appropriate help.

I have done LOTS and LOTS of Od'ing on Painkillers and benzos and my liver is not damaged. My liver function tests came back WNL (within normal limits). Best of luck to you. Keep up posted and congrats on day 4.

Love,

Liz
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Old 06-19-2007, 03:22 AM
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midnightblue first of all see your doctor ASAP, lay it all out there for her, tell her the whole truth, it will allow her to do for you what is best for you.

In regards to your liver, every one is different, my liver was swollen and tender when I was 28 years old, it remained that way until I was 52 when I finally quit drinking after 40 years. When I went into detox I was diagnosed with a fatty liver which is a precursor to cirrosis of the liver. The doctor told me that as long as I did not drink any more my liver would recover, I had my liver enzymes checked after I had been sober for 90 days and all my liver enzyme levels came back normal, the swelling started going down about then and the pain had been gone for a while to. I have now been sober for 9 months, my liver continues to get smaller returning to normal size and I feel GREAT!!!!

I used AA as my program of recovery, not only has AA helped me stay sober, I have become a better and happier person.

Sobriety rocks! Helping other alcoholics get and stay sober rocks even more!
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Old 06-19-2007, 04:13 AM
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I've been sober now almost 7 months and just had blood workup done due to an unrelated illness.

Everything came back normal! I was a bit suprised (happily), Heck I drank for about 24 years and at the end it was a 1/2gal of vodka every other day.

There is hope
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Old 06-19-2007, 08:35 AM
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Thanks Groucho and Taz, that gives me hope. I haven't been to the Dr. yet due to (lack of) insurance, but am one of those concerned about the damage done.
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Old 06-20-2007, 05:43 PM
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i read about a Pink Elephant feeling when a person quits drinking.
what i remember is, after the 1st week or two of sobriety, the abstainer
becomes emotionally and physically euphoric. i had that.
but now, i'm on day 21, and i'm not feeling so euphoric anymore.
i'm getting small cravings, and some emotional distress.

i was thinking that, for all those years, i didn't have to deal with thinking
about problems. Usually, i had to act to solve the problem. but it never bothered
me. part of that is my personality, and part of that was the alcohol-anastesia.
Now, i don't have a drug to change the mood.

Or, probably more correctly, i don't have liquid-forgetfulness time to look forward to.
Before, if things started to bother me, i'd start thinking about how i'll deal with it when i'm drinking. but when i started drinking, the problem wasn't viewed as much as a problem anymore.
but then, of course, the next day, the problem was still there, and i was more irritable about it.

anyway, i'm creating all kinds of nonsensical theories, cuz i don't want to stop typing, cuz i'm in a crave-rave right now.
my lawn mower starts, but won't keep running. so i came down to google up an answer. but the answer was 'rebuild the carbuerator'. and dam, that don't sound like anything i want to deal with now. so i'm running from my problems, like i've trained myself to do.
but, this time, i'll drink tea and watch tv.
but what i'll really be doing is watching my mind & emotions, trying to understand how that whole machinery works.
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Old 06-20-2007, 07:03 PM
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but when i started drinking, the problem wasn't viewed as much as a problem anymore.
but then, of course, the next day, the problem was still there, and i was more irritable about it.
Yup, and the problems just keep getting worse. So I drank......

It's funny though. Once you start working a problem, all of these "problems" aren't as big anymore. Some of them never even happen. Most of it's in our head, and how wer perceive and deal with (or don't deal with) situations.
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Old 06-21-2007, 12:20 PM
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6/21/07

hoping it's
congrats on day 7


best
fraankie
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