Hey lynnie, welcome - and don't beat yourself up to much.
Prodigal pointed out something that also occurred to me. For a long time, I kept pointing to all the problems caused by the drinking, but I've learned to look at my own behaviors. A good question in your situation might be why did I move in with someone after dating them for only 2 months? That's not a judgment - just a question. Looking back almost 20 years now, I can see I "fell in love" far too quickly with AH and then spent many, many years trying to turn the relationship into something it was not. If I had paid attention to the red flags then, as I intend (LOL) to do now, I might have done things differently. I say might, because I was young, in love, and no one was telling me anything! LOL
If not Al-Anon (which I do attend and enjoy), have you considered one on one therapy? I have learned a lot about myself and the reasons for the choices I make. In both cases, having people who see things with fresh eyes and viewpoints has really helped me grow.
Take care of yourself.