"I'm sick to death with worry he'll start getting mad because this is all too much responsibility.."
This brings back memories. I didn't want to wake the dragons, either. Tip-toeing emotionally, I expected less, and accepted less, and bent over backwards to accomodate ---
But when you are in the maelstrom of a divorce, I think it's natural to want to minimize problems, because problems are everywhere.
I do love your idea of telling him its his responsibility to clear the house. Damned skippy it is! Let him use the golf club as a broom...LOL!!