DW,
I agree with BigSis... have you found a meeting you can go to? I have been in a very similar situation as yours. Once I put the focus on myself and my recovery, I got better. IT got better. I learned about setting and maintaining boundaries that worked for me. I learned to let go of other people and their stuff, and to allow them the dignity of their own choices and to experience the joy of their own consequences.
Again, I've been where you are. Al Anon saved my life. Pure and simple.
Hugs
Cats