Welcome, shemp. You sound like a good guy who made some bad decisions. You also sound like you are standing up to the plate like a man and accepting life on life's terms. It's natural to be worried about the court date, but when you find yourself worrying, take a minute to step back and ask yourself, "What do I get out of worrying about something that is beyond my control?" Just keep in mind that you are moving in the right direction.
As far as your ex goes, she's probably venting all the pent-up anger she had when you were drinking. When my AH got sober last time 'round - and I thought he was gonna make it - I was not very nice to him on several occasions. I kept wondering why I was acting like such a jerk and getting so snippy with him. I think I had it in the back of my mind that once he was sober for over a month, I'd let him know what hell he'd put me through. Bad idea on my part and a sign of how sick I was.
You sound like an A who is going to make it. You admitted you messed up and are willing to take the consequences. The judge may very well take into account the fact that you are sincere about cleaning up your act and be lenient.