shemp

I have and xgf who I truly loved and cared about. My drinking took a toll on us and we are no longer together. She has put a final restraining oder against me and i started my recovery right after that. I was done with her and she stated to come looking for me. I know I should have not came back to her but I did.

Now we were haveing contact with each other and I started to go back to my old behavior not drinking but the way i was when i was drinking. So my actions got me put in jail for a little while. When i went into jail i was angry at first at her then realized that it was me who put me there and not her. So i started a new life started back to my aa meetings and seeking couseling. I have meet some women and men that i talk to and do things with. My confusion is that this xgf even thou she is dating someone has a very big problem with me going out and hanging out with females. That all i am looking for is a sex life. This is so far from the truth. I know first that a relationship would not work right now. But this xgf persists that I am going out with these females for sex and out drinking.can anybody please give some opinion I why this girl who has moved on cares so much? i am also dealing with the problem this person has told me that she still loves me and cares for me. Why? When all she does if we talk is say i quack and wont let me get in a word.

Iam scared that this person will be at my court date coming this week. I have a four year old son that I am scared that i will not be able to see cause there is a possibility that I may go back to jail. This really scares me! i will miss him alot, but if that is the case i am prepaired to take responsibility for my actions. My attorney tells me not to worry but I do and sometimes it just consumes me. i go to my meetins and feel better but when i am sitting home The thoughts come back. Does anybody have advice or opinions to try not to worry so much about this up coming date? i read my self help books talk to my sponsor and my friends but nothing works. I dont want to relapse cause this would be a very very bad thing. I am lost and very scared.